How to Stay Positive (When Everything Sucks)
I actually have no idea. I’m currently going through a few major crises in my life — and I’m finding it difficult to get up every day and face them. I really just want to quit & disappear (into a different city with a change of name & career). The severity of the situations are so extreme I’m having daily panic attacks, crying fits, and generally trouble focusing on anything. I feel a mixture of dead inside and unbearable pain.
There’s really only three choices here: 1) Lie down and die. 2) Disappear forever. 3) Move forward.
Lie down and die isn’t an option (for me, at least). I’m healthy, I’m charming, I’m good looking, I’m talented, people love me (some don’t but fuck them). So long as I’m alive & healthy, there’s no need to consider the “wasting away” option. As tempting it is to just be a nothingness, it’s just not a real option. Life moves on without you, and so much joy & experiences will be left behind. No matter what’s going on in one’s life, there’s always a reason to steal pleasure from this universe. It’s what life is all about.
Disappear forever is extremely tempting. I’ve been working out the math. Change my name, change my career, change my city, and just rebuild somewhere else. Life can be that frustrating at times… And so can the arts industry. But the problem here is that I’m simply too invested in my — let’s call it — stupid shit. I make art, bro. I’m an artist, I’m a filmmaker. This is my thing. I’m bombastic & impassioned. I can’t imagine actually going somewhere and laying low for real. I would be miserable.
So the only option is to move forward. Like Tame Impala says, “Let it happen.” Nothing can be done to change certain things in your life, no matter how many times you run it through your head. Even if the thing was not your fault, an injustice, a freak accident, or whatever it is… It’s done. Life kinda sucks like that. Unfair shit happens all the fucking time. And the lower you are in social status, the more unfair shit seems to happen. There’s things you can do to prevent stuff moving forward… It’s always good to grow...
But there’s really only two states after a trauma: woundedness & wisdom. There’s no other state. And so at some point you have to make a conscious decision to go in the direction of wisdom, because if not you will drive yourself crazy (or physically fall down a rabbit hole of self destruction) replaying the trauma tape in your head — picking at the wound constantly, so it doesn’t heal.
So, given the options… The only way to stay positive is to get wise from the situation & move on.
Pushing oneself into a new pattern of thought is beneficial, as eventually the forced pattern becomes actual thoughts. After all, human life is a cognitive thing. And cognition can be changed via neuroplasticity.
Here’s what I’m gathering from my situation:
1) Push yourself into a positive mindset.
2) Reinterpret the bad that’s happening into something good.
3) Do things that make you feel good.
4) Focus on what you can control (nutrition/ exercise / productivity / etc).
5) Build & nurture a strong support system of friends & family.
6) Do things for other people (to get out of your head).
7) Be kind to yourself.
8) Learn from the situation, but let go of the emotional pain.
9) Practice daily gratitude.
10) Be as amazing as you can be with your one life on this planet.
Don’t let the fucking turkeys get you down. People suck, and everybody knows that. It can be proven with a pen & paper. People are cruel, they’re selfish, they’re highly flawed.
But you only live this life once. ONCE! You simply must make the most of it, no matter the situation.
If you have your freedom, your health, and your talents… even when everything sucks, there’s a great possibility for you to thrive. Even if you are thrown into a situation which is your greatest fear… if you survive it, then you just survived your greatest fear! Do you see how that makes you infinitely stronger?