Every Thing is Actually Ten Things

Every Thing is Actually Ten Things

This one’s a quickie —

Every thing is actually ten things.

This is something I’ve been repeating in my head a lot this year. It strangely calms me down.

You go to grab something from the bathroom cabinet, and since it’s filled to the brim with shit, everything that item was delicately balancing into place comes crumbling down, grabbing other (glass encased) things with it as it all comes crashing down onto the tile bathroom floor. You have to pick up the glass, clean the mess, put everything back, AND THEN you can grab your original something and do whatever.

You set up your equipment for work, but require a scissor. You don’t have a scissor, so you ask somebody for one. They have a scissor, but it’s broken. You ask around, nobody else has a scissor. So you try to fix the broken scissor. Suddenly, you’re googling “How to Fix a Scissor.” It’s at this moment your boss remind you that you have five minutes to be ready. So you tear off the thing you needed a scissor for. But now it’s ruined. Somehow you need to fix everything in less than four minutes. But all you needed was a scissor.

You’re trying to get home from work but the highway ramp is shut down. Police are blocking the entrance due to construction. You take the designated detour, only to discover the backup highway ramp is also under construction, also blocked by the police. You GPS your way around this mess but begin to realize — almost 45 minutes later — that the entire strip of highway in that area of the city is blocked & under construction. Oh, and you’re falling asleep in the car after a 16 hour shift. So you finally GPS your way home using the side streets. Takes an extra hour to get home, when you only live 20 minutes away.

You make coffee before work because it makes you feel alive. But you spill it on your only nice clean outfit. So now you have to either get the stain out or wear something goofy… and you still don’t have coffee. So now you have figure out your wardrobe situation… if you want to drink coffee. Oh, but you have to be out the door in like ten minutes. Maybe you shouldn’t’ve destroyed the bathroom cabinet, homie!

You’re finishing up work on your computer but your computer shuts off randomly. You were about to click SAVE, too. Shucks. Now you have to figure out why your computer is malfunctioning… in order to finish doing the digital work that’s saved on your computer. But obviously, you have to re-do the lost work.

See? Each activity is secretly ten other activities between you and your goal.

It’s easy for me to get annoyed when shit like this happens — cause all I wanna do is the thing! I don’t wanna do the other things in between the thing! Why can’t things be frictionless?????

But when I remind myself that each thing is actually ten things, it calms me down. “Ah yes,” I think, “The world is a giant fucking mess. I am of this world & part of it. Nothing unexpected is occurring right now. This is a shared universal experience for the majority of the population. This is fine. Everything’s fine.” LOL

Think of it like Zelda. Wanna do a thing? Get ready for a side quest, motherfucker.

Shocking Asia (1974)

Shocking Asia (1974)

The Transhumanism of "Screwball" (2018)

The Transhumanism of "Screwball" (2018)